A few months ago, the tug said to me, "Go hug that police officer." What? This was at the end of a church service, and my attention was directed to the female police officer standing at the side of the sanctuary providing protection during the service. (Sadly, that's a necessity in today's world.) Well, I knew this suggestion was not coming from me. I don't just get the urge to hug people I don't know. So I wrestled with it. I meandered a little closer to where the officer was standing but continued to argue with the little voice. Really? Why me? You know I'm not a hugger. After a few minutes, I couldn't fight it any more. Fine. I'll do it. I had to trust the tug more than my own inhibitions. I took a deep breath and walked up to her. "Excuse me. May I give you a hug?" To my surprise, she beamed back at me, "I'd really like that." And so I hugged her and walked away. I could see that it had made her happy; and that, in turn, filled me with joy. In reality, it was a simple thing, but I could so easily have ignored it. How often do we ignore the tug when it requires stepping outside of our comfort zone?
That little tug is usually described as our conscience -- an internal feeling or voice that guides our decisions. But what is it that guides that tug? I would suggest there are many things that can guide it, but what it really comes down to is the inclination of our hearts. When we are completely self-focused, the tug usually goes unnoticed. We are too busy or too distracted to pay it any heed. It can also become warped by our attitudes and beliefs. Either we think too little of ourselves (No one needs what I have to offer), or too little of others (They don't deserve what I have to offer) or sometimes, both.
The truth is we can choose to connect the tug to something, someone, that makes all the difference -- the one who is Love. Things like conscience and intuition are hardwired into us as a way to connect with our creator. Through these, we experience his voice and his will. The more we submit our own thoughts and judgments to him, the more we are able to clearly discern and respond to the tug.
Being an introvert, I tend to find the tug especially challenging because it usually involves engaging with people. You see, God asks us to love others. He doesn't ask the extroverts to love others and say to the introverts, It's okay if you only want to be around books, coffee and cute animals. Now, I'd be just fine with that, but God wants us to grow. He wants us to step outside our comfort zone and engage with what he is doing. And honestly, what he's doing is always much more fun and fulfilling than anything I would have conjured up. Plus, it takes the pressure off me to figure it out. It allows me to step out in his love one day at a time and wait with expectation to see who he will put before me. The other day it was a refugee family at the airport. For my husband, it was the server at a local pizza place. It can happen anytime, anywhere. Sometimes it's just offering a kind word or a smile. Maybe it's buying coffee or a roll of Lifesavers for a stranger. Other times, it's picking up the phone to call an old friend or delivering a surprise package to a neighbor. Getting to know God's heart makes it easier to discern what the tug is telling you, to trust that it comes from his will.
God speaks to every person in a unique way, but we all know the tug. Some describe it as a voice. For others, it's a feeling or something that appears visually highlighted. Occasionally, I've experienced it as an inexplicable wave of emotion resulting in tears. Never having been much of a crier, this immediately grabs my attention. It feels like God is giving me a window into his compassion and mercy.
How did you respond last time you experienced the tug? What would your life look like if you paid more attention to it and even looked forward to it with expectation? Does it make you uncomfortable? That's okay. Our hearts don't grow without a little discomfort. Dying to self is never easy, but what God cultivates in place of self is so much more beautiful. I encourage you to take that step. Let go and see where Love takes you.
Listen carefully; Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you'll have it forever, real and eternal. (John 12:24-25, The Message)
Photo Credit: Evan Kirby
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