Got Oxygen?

I recently came home from Madagascar, and as often happens on these trips, I arrived home with a lovely bug. I rarely get stomach ailments, but respiratory stuff is my Achilles heel, and this trip was no exception. I'd started the trip on the tail end of a throat infection for which I'd been taking antibiotics, but it seemed like I never really got over it. I pushed through the trip with a backpack full of Advil and cough drops; but poor air quality, little rest, and the onset of a cold left me feeling like, well...where's the poop emoji when you need it?

I spent all of last week trying my darnedest to get well, but there's only so much Throat Coat tea you can consume before you need to suck it up and go back to the doctor. So Friday morning, I reluctantly dragged myself over to the doctor hoping I wasn't wasting her time.

I've been asthmatic my whole life but really have not had any serious breathing issues for the last several years. And praise God for that! Nevertheless, I know what an asthma attack feels like, and I generally know when I need to go to the emergency room. So I was kind of stunned when the nurse stuck the pulse ox monitor on my finger and it showed that my oxygen saturation looked more like that of a lifelong coal miner. The nurse and I both looked at the screen with our heads cocked to one side and uttered a collective hmmm.

The doctor listened to my lungs and confirmed that my infection was aggravating my asthma, so I left the office with another round of antibiotics and some good old steroids. Now, nothing about this scenario was new for me except that this time I had absolutely no idea how sick I was. How on earth did I not know that I was getting about the same amount of oxygen as someone on a high altitude hike? Well, that would certainly explain something about my energy level.

Friends, how often in our spiritual lives are we getting by on so much less than we really need? We tell ourselves we're fine, that we just need to tough it out, and we continue to walk through each day feeling tired and depleted and maybe more than a little grumpy. We don't even realize that we're not really breathing, at least not freely. We get used to functioning on so much less than what is available to us. Living on less becomes normal. But this is not the way it's supposed to be.

My friend Niki Hardy has a new book aptly titled Breathe Again coming out in August. I had the opportunity to read an advance copy, and it's a wonderful read. It made me wonder how many of us feel like we can't catch a breath -- like life has knocked the wind out of us and we just can't recover. I know I've been there, and not just with the way I'm feeling physically right now. Let's be honest. Life can suck sometimes. And sometimes there is absolutely nothing we can do to make our circumstances any better. But even in the midst of pain and struggle, there is a source of life-giving breath -- the spiritual oxygen we need.

God isn't waiting for you to toughen up and sort things out. He never told anyone to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. He gets no pleasure from seeing you struggle day after day. He isn't like that. Let me say that again -- he is NOT like that. If your day finds you lying on the kitchen floor literally begging for mercy and asking where God is, that's okay. He's happy to meet you right there on the kitchen floor. How do I know? Because I've been there. Several years ago, in the midst of chronic illness, I finally reached a place where I couldn't hold on with my own strength. I was suffocating under fear and anxiety. But when I let go, I discovered that God was right there to catch me, to breathe life back into me. It didn't make the pain instantly disappear, but it allowed me to look up -- to look at the one who sustains me, to draw my strength from him. He is the one who gives "life and breath and everything else" (Acts 17:25), so thinking I was going to sort things out through my own positive thinking or strong will was inevitably going to fail.

If you're feeling depleted and defeated, let me encourage you. There is one who wants to breathe life back into you, to give you oxygen. There is one who doesn't want you to walk this path alone. There is one who calls you to look up.

There's been one song stuck in my head all week, and it's a great one. Lauren Daigle's "Look Up Child" has such a great message, so as far as earworms go, I'll take it. But have you heard the poem that was inspired by the song, written by Channell Warren at Folsom Prison? I hope this encourages you to look up today.

Lauren Daigle - Folsom Prison (02.24.19)

Expecting the Unexpected

Yesterday our family visited a church community in Sakaraha, Madagascar, with whom we have developed a special relationship over the past seven years. My husband was given the opportunity to preach, and perhaps because he was a little surprised to be preaching that morning, he talked about how with God we can expect the unexpected. 

It got me thinking about how I deal with the unexpected and what sort of expectations I have for God to act. What about you? Do unexpected events or schedule changes throw you for a loop? Do you stress over the what ifs of life?

The more time we’ve spent in the mission field, the more I’ve learned to roll with the unexpected. I remember my high school French teacher saying, “Travel, even at its best, is always a hassle.” I love to travel, but these are wise words to keep in mind. I find them to be especially true in the developing world where there always seems to be a curve ball coming your way. There are times when I still don’t handle sudden change as well as I’d like, but I’ve learned that some apparent misfortunes can actually be blessings, if we’re willing to see them.

A few years ago, we were scheduled to fly from the capital of Madagascar for ten days of ministry in the southwestern city of Toliara. We love our visits to the south and were looking forward to reuniting with friends and visiting our favorite pizza place. I know, nobody thinks of pizza when they think of Madagascar, but seriously, this place is the BEST. And did I mention the gelato?  But I digress. 

A few days before our scheduled flight, Air Madagascar went on strike. Nobody knew how long the strike would last, but we needed to quickly come up with Plan B. When it became clear that there was a solid zero percent chance our flight would actually depart, we prayed and took a leap of faith. We booked a car and driver and began a three day journey south, through the heart of Madagascar. We knew people who had done the trip. We had heard stories of adventure and peril but weren’t quite sure what to realistically expect. 

Could we trust our driver to find us safe food along the route? (I’m pretty adventurous, but typhoid fever is not high on my list of things I want to experience.) Where on earth would we be sleeping? Would Air Madagascar, affectionately referred to as Air Maybe, be able to bring us home or ever give us our money back? Well, we’d find out one way or another.

The long trip south, along with the high probability that we would have to make the same journey back, cut significantly into the time we had planned to be in Toliara. We were somewhat frustrated and disappointed, but we focused on the excitement of the unknown.

Crammed into the backseat with two teenagers on a twisty, washboard of a road, I was sure my back would never be the same again. As we crossed bridges that appeared less than structurally sound, we joked about what the headlines in our local paper would read after our car plummeted into a rice paddy. (Yes, everyone in our family shares a somewhat dark sense of humor.) We also listened  to U2, lots of U2.

Eventually, we arrived unscathed at our destination. We’d lost a few days in Toliara, but we had gained so much on the journey. We saw parts of the country we never imagined we would have the opportunity to see. Every mountain pass provided a new breathtaking vista. We caught glimpses of the quotidian rhythm of dozens of Malagasy villages. We even saw a couple funeral processions, which in Madagascar are boisterous celebrations.

As the airline strike continued, and we realized we would need to make the same trip in reverse, we actually looked forward to it. We wished we could take more unexpected detours. The journey had developed in us a deeper love for this amazing country and her hospitable people. God had transformed an annoying turn of events into something beautiful.

Certainly, there are unexpected events that nobody welcomes. A diagnosis of cancer, a tragic car accident, the loss of a job, or the discovery of marital infidelity will turn anyone’s world upside down. But even in these moments, we can live with expectation for God to intervene with hope, healing and comfort. And it is often through the worst unexpected events that God’s hope shines the brightest. 

His ability to intervene in unexpected ways can instantly shatter darkness and bring about resurrection, both literal and figurative. Just think of Lazarus. Nobody, least of all his sisters, expected his illness to result in death followed by a literal resurrection four days later. I promise you they never saw that coming. But WOW! Can you imagine?

Our God is full of surprises. He loves to intervene in unexpected ways. And no, it probably won’t look anything like what you imagined. The journey may require patience, perseverance and courage. It may find you asking some really hard questions and wondering if you’ll ever reach the end of the road, or at least an oasis along the way.

But what if our faith in God’s ability to do the unexpected was greater than our fear of the unknown? What if, when faced with frustrating or disheartening challenges, we waited in eager expectation for God to act. What if we knew that his love for us  actually leaves no room for fear? Friends, that begins to look a whole lot like freedom!